Ellen DeGeneres quotes

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful …I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Humor Funny

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial …Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

Acceptance Funny

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we …My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

Funny

Procrastinate now, don't put it …Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

Humor Short

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space …The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.

Creation Funny God Humor

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you …Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.

Comfort Beauty

Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of …Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.

Humor Perspective

When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times …When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.

Failure Inspirational Success

True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is …True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.

Truth Beauty

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky …Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.

Romance Short Funny

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the …My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

Humor Life

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, …I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Humor






Ellen DeGeneres Humor quotes


Humor Quotes


All Ellen DeGeneres quotes


Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal …Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

Happiness Humor

You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an …You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.

Writing Funny