David Sedaris quotes

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to …Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings

Integrity Inspirational Love Kindness

If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the …If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

Humor

If you read someone else's diary, you get what you …If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.

Short

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to …Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Perception Mind Humor Short

I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective …I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

Humor Change

As a child, I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up …As a child, I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

Thought Humor

When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking …When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of …Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

Love Short Friends Character

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of …We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well-made cocktail.

Comfort Emotions

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is …All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.

Individuality

Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as …Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit...



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  1. All David Sedaris quotes




All David Sedaris quotes