Rodney Dangerfield quotes
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. 
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it. 
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it. 
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. 
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.