“ Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. ”
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.