Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.
Do not compare yourself to others. If you do so, you are insulting yourself.
Are you proud of yourself tonight that you have insulted a total stranger whose circumstances you know nothing about?
If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
Humor + Insult quotes ⇑Humor Quotes
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
In the depths of my heart, I can't help being convinced that my dear fellow men, with a few exceptions, are worthless.
You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.
Look inside my soul and you can find gold and maybe get rich. Look inside of your soul and you can find out it never exists.
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
We almost made it to thirty seconds without an insult. I think we set a new record.
Twitchy little ferret, aren't you, Malfoy?
All insult Quotes ⇑
Myth is much more important and true than history. History is just journalism and you know how reliable that is.
They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.
I am not the one of us who has no heart.
Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe.
Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them.
We have this weird thing in the world where you don't get insulted for what you do, you get insulted for who you are.
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.'
Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.
All predictions are an insult to humanity, that means there is no value for what a human being is.
He who is tranquil before friend and foe alike, and in encountering adoration and insult, and during the experiences of warmth and chill and of pleasure and suffering... that person is dear to Me
It is an insult to your Self to be born, live, and die without knowing the answer to the mystery of why you were sent here as a human being in the first place. To forget God is to miss the whole point of existence
Twitter is online society. To survive it, the individual must ignore the news, leave the mobs, disassociate from the angry and the confused, and dismiss both compliments and insults.
Don't fool yourself, my dear. You're much worse than a bitch. You're a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.
"Sir," she said, "you are no gentleman!" An apt observation, "he answered airily." And, you, Miss, are no lady.
Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting innards of unidentified roadkill.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
Michael Jackson's album was only called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic.