Insult quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an …I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Funny Short Witty

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his …He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

Friends

Myth is much more important and true than history. History is just journalism and you know how …Myth is much more important and true than history. History is just journalism and you know how reliable that is.

History Inspirational Humor

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat …If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

Short

The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in …The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.

Humor People

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an …He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

Funny

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without …Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Imagination Humor

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of …I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Funny Short Humor

Do not compare yourself to others. If you do so, you are insulting …Do not compare yourself to others. If you do so, you are insulting yourself.

Failure Inspirational Short

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of …I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

Funny Short Witty

Are you proud of yourself tonight that you have insulted a total stranger whose circumstances you …Are you proud of yourself tonight that you have insulted a total stranger whose circumstances you know nothing about?

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat …Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Politics Short Humor






Humor + Insult quotes

Humor Quotes
If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in …If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood

Humor

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of …That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

Humor

In the depths of my heart, I can't help being convinced that my dear fellow men, with a few …In the depths of my heart, I can't help being convinced that my dear fellow men, with a few exceptions, are worthless.

Humor Humanity

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on …Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

Humor Simile

You're so full of crap, you could pass for a …You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.

Humor

Look inside my soul and you can find gold and maybe get rich. Look inside of your soul and you can …Look inside my soul and you can find gold and maybe get rich. Look inside of your soul and you can find out it never exists.

Humor Soul

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no …He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

Humor

We almost made it to thirty seconds without an insult. I think we set a new …We almost made it to thirty seconds without an insult. I think we set a new record.

Humor

Twitchy little ferret, aren't you, …Twitchy little ferret, aren't you, Malfoy?

Humor



All insult Quotes


Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your …Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul.

Inspirational Wisdom Soul Spirituality

Why do boys say someone acts like a girl as if it were an …Why do boys say someone acts like a girl as if it were an insult?

Short Humor

Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge …Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.

Life Mind

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a …Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them.

Politics Honesty

He wrapped himself in quotations - as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of …He wrapped himself in quotations - as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the …His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing …Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you...

Freedom Humor

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today …A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.'

All art is quite …All art is quite useless.

Short Humor Art

Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt …Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe.

Simile

You've got about as much charm as a dead …You've got about as much charm as a dead slug.

Funny Short

I am not the one of us who has no …I am not the one of us who has no heart.

Heart

You speak an infinite deal of …You speak an infinite deal of nothing.

Short Witty Humor

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for …If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Short Laughter

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more …They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

Funny Short

We have this weird thing in the world where you don't get insulted for what you do, you get …We have this weird thing in the world where you don't get insulted for what you do, you get insulted for who you are.

Action World

In the newspapers there is insulting and stirring up hatred. Those irresponsible …In the newspapers there is insulting and stirring up hatred. Those irresponsible daubers!

He who is tranquil before friend and foe alike, and in encountering adoration and insult, and …He who is tranquil before friend and foe alike, and in encountering adoration and insult, and during the experiences of warmth and chill and of pleasure and suffering... that person is dear to Me

Friends Enemy Suffering Bhagavad gita

It is an insult to your Self to be born, live, and die without knowing the answer to the mystery of …It is an insult to your Self to be born, live, and die without knowing the answer to the mystery of why you were sent here as a human being in the first place. To forget God is to miss the whole point of existence

God

Only dull people are brilliant at …Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

Short Humor People

'Sir,' she said, 'you are no gentleman!' An apt observation, 'he answered airily.' And, you, Miss, …"Sir," she said, "you are no gentleman!" An apt observation, "he answered airily." And, you, Miss, are no lady.

Don't fool yourself, my dear. You're much worse than a bitch. You're a saint. Which shows why …Don't fool yourself, my dear. You're much worse than a bitch. You're a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.

Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting …Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting innards of unidentified roadkill.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to …Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Short Humor

Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all …Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will …And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

Marriage Humor

I am going to knock the slut out of you. And that should take some doing, you uppity English …I am going to knock the slut out of you. And that should take some doing, you uppity English tramp!

Ron... you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to …Ron... you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet.

Your hypocrisy insults my …Your hypocrisy insults my intelligence.

Short

Michael Jackson's album was only called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for …Michael Jackson's album was only called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic.

Music